Rest, Assuredly

I love the character of God. He continues to reveal Himself and that amazes me. Just when we “think” we know Him, He shows us, always in His love, that we are still just at the surface of His grace and greatness. He totally allows my heart to be pressed with the temptation to doubt everything He is doing in my life. Why? Because He’s been working in my heart, I am more aware of the temptations that drive me back into His arms. You see, I never leave His arms, He always has them around me. But in the times of temptation or doubt, I know that I can bury my face into His chest and He reminds me to just rest assured that He’s got me and many things will come along that will try to lure me away, but His hold is firm. I am to rest in His arms. This is the place Jeff and I are right now, we are resting in His plan. I can’t really explain it and most people probably think we are crazy, but this is where He has us. It’s an amazing place to be. I’ll gladly quote myself from a previous blog — “An amazing sense of belonging, aside from our unmerited salvation and adoption into the royal family of God, is knowing that you are exactly where God wants you to be, here on earth.” We are truly resting in this. We are where He wants us, and we are going exactly where He is leading us; this is His plan.

The closer we are getting to being planted in San Francisco, the more I am asked, “What’s your back up plan?” Usually I just chuckle, laugh sheepishly and reply that I don’t have one. But the more I think about it, I now get frustrated with everything – people, myself, God. First of all, I think I get hurt more than anything that people who love me and also love the Lord would even ask me a question with any hint of doubt. I don’t know, it seems that I get more doubtful responses about our moving to SF from my fellow saints. I think its kind of funny. Here we are preaching to people to trust in Him for EVERYTHING and to listen to His voice. Yet, when one of us share that He is moving, speaking and we are trusting, there is always quite a bit of disbelief amongst the saints. Isn’t that kind of strange?

Shouldn’t we be the ones to come alongside our brothers and sisters when they are sharing their heart and how God is working in their lives? Who are we to doubt what the Lord is telling them? I know that I am guilty of this state of heart many times. For some reason I feel the need to judge someone about their life or how I think they aren’t doing what God is calling them to do. Ha! So hypocritical and just so sad. Now, obviously if your friend tells you that God is moving them to illegal activity, well, use your brain. But seriously, is trusting God so hard and is His moving and doing as He has promised unheard of? Why is it that when we see someone who is literally trusting Him with everything, which is how is should be, we think it’s our Christian right and duty to “let them know” that they aren’t going about it practically, or my favorite one – responsibly. Since when did trusting God become practical or even responsible? And who are you to tell me what my responsibility is? I’m pretty sure that authority comes from the Lord.

It is in these times that my faith continues to get built on Who has given us the “plan.” I have to remember that this whole idea of being missional does not come from my own brain. I’m not that smart. Sure, I might have some head knowledge, but He’s still working on my heart! I give all the credit to Jesus. He lived a missional life, and that is what God is calling each of us to do, wherever we live, and in our case it will be in San Francisco soon.

I felt led to write on this mainly for my own heart, but I also thought it appropriate to share with you all. There are so many people that hear from the Lord, yet the moment they share it with another believer for prayer or even advice, sadly they are shot down with the “are you sure or are you just crazy” speech.

Proverbs 16:9 — “A man’s heart plans his ways; but the Lord directs his steps.”

I was reminded of this verse the other day (thanks Shalom). I did some research about it and my heart got excited because I’m not crazy! Ha ha. I mean, I think most people are thinking, “Oh wow, they must really love SF to move all their kids there” (which we do, now, but we haven’t always) or “Ok, they are crazy and going about this the wrong way, are they sure they heard Him right?”

So, “direct” in Hebrew basically means “to bring to incontrovertible existence.” And then, incontrovertible means “not open to question or dispute; indisputable.” Moving to San Francisco is a call by God, our authority in life and it is not open for question. I guess we totally could disobey, which I think if He revealed His heart for this plan a few years ago, we would have because our hearts weren’t ready to even think of that.

He stirred our hearts for ministry and we planned to make a 2-3 year move to Australia at the time. It’s funny, our goal was to be there for fall 2009, and now we will be in San Francisco. We were preparing to step out in faith to go to Hillsong Leadership College, where Jeff was going to study for full-time ministry. He has given us both a heart for youth and there was no other school geared toward unconventional methods of study, whereas Hillsong was more “hands on” than bookwork and seminary. This generation is so indifferent, there has to be a better approach to reaching their hearts than just throwing the Bible and some standards at them. That’s religion, not Jesus.

We shared with only a few people, and let’s just say that we were also crazy back then. However, we know that He just wanted our hearts. Even though Australia isn’t where we ended up, we totally feel that He used that extreme faith and situation to get us to trust Him. It was the same year that He led us to our new church, Reality and He gave us the word that we were to stay here, for now. Australia was always in the back of our minds, at least in mine. I always wondered when it would come to pass. Then I remember, clear as day when the Lord told me we were going to move to SF. When the Lord leads, I’ll share the full story of our calling, but for now, it should be enough for people to know that we were called and we are going to follow.

I can’t really explain how my heart felt at that moment. I was praying for a solution and He told me that He would use our family in His plan. I wasn’t saying, “Here I am send me” at all. I was crying out for Him to send someone else. It’s so like God to totally turn our world upside down and open our hearts up to everything we thought we never wanted. We never had a desire to move to SF. It was just a few weeks before that Jeff stood on a corner in Lower Haight proclaiming that he could never live in SF. At that time, all we saw was dirt, sin and more sin. We felt the heaviness, oppression, the enemy. It was definitely NOT where we wanted to raise our children. Funny, we weren’t even thinking of ever moving there, but it was just something Jeff said as he looked up the street in disgust. I seconded his statement as I pulled out my hand sanitizer and stuck my hands back in my sweater pocket. A few weeks later, on the same day, in the same worship service but totally separate times with Jesus, the Lord gave us both the word that He was moving us to the City. It’s crazy, but we were both at peace and afraid to tell the other what He said. But once we talked about it, we knew that was our confirmation and we both just wept.

Here we are, almost a year later and preparing to take some of the biggest steps of faith you can imagine. This is when we need the encouragement of our fellow saints. The Lord continues to give us peace and lead us. Just as the verse in Proverbs says, He directs our paths. Believe me, the situation would be a lot different if it were my idea. But daily He seeks our hearts and tells us to rest. He’s spoken in our hearts that He seeks to do some mighty things in our dire situation. I mean, if you don’t know, San Francisco is not exactly family friendly or financially friendly for a family of seven! But, we are loved by an amazing God and He seeks to place us in the heart of the city and we are so privileged to be called.

Jeremiah 32:41 — “Yea, I will rejoice over them to do them good, and I will plant them in this land assuredly with my whole heart and my whole soul.”

Assuredly is such an amazing promise and so powerful when He speaks this to us. Assuredly means firmness, stability, faithfulness on His part. There is no “us” about getting to San Francisco. He has told us that HE will plant us. On our part, we are to just trust, rest and follow His guide. He said He’d plant us with His whole heart and soul. We have a faithful God who always is true to His every word.

I guess I just want to encourage you all that if the Lord is speaking and moving in your heart and life, please just stop and listen. It’s in these times that the enemy will definitely pull well meaning people with advice to sway you from God’s call on your life. Yes, even some of the advice is good and quite practical. But seriously, sending His Son to suffer and die for you is nowhere near practical. We need to stop putting God in a box of our standards. We need to open our hearts and let Him show us His power. We truly believe that He seeks to show His mightiness and power in our situation. It’s totally impossible. But we have this crazy faith and know that He will do all that He has promised.

Jeremiah 33:3 — “Call unto me and I will show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.”

Truly this is just the beginning of His display of power in our lives. He always shows us bits and pieces of His plan always at the right time. Right now, He is showing us that we are to be in SF and we are to rest in Him, knowing that HE will bring our family to the right home, district and people to love on. Ironically, but totally Jesus, the more we go back and visit our hearts have been captured by the Lower Haight. We called on Him and He is showing us, so faithfully, His might and the great things He is preparing. I am overjoyed to sit here and think upon all the times over the past year that He gave me the word “Rest” and I always was like, “ok, got it” but still I tried to do it on my own. Not this time! It’s so freeing to just live and truly let God. Some might not agree, but seriously, who do I listen to? It’s so simple and I trust in His WORD. His promises are everlasting and I cannot do anything but praise Him for all He is doing in our lives. God is so good, friends and I can truly attest to that goodness. I am so excited to one day share the entire story with you all. Until then, I will keep sharing as He leads. Let Him out of your box, He seeks to show you mighty things and give you rest!

 

Blessing of Life

I will be 27 at approximately 5:41am Friday, November 21st. In otherwords, from starting this, less than two hours haha.

I couldn’t really sleep, because my honey is out of town and I’m
way too excited, about my life. I guess as my new year approaches here I just wanted to share my gratefulness and joy in life. I am so amazingly blessed and on my birthday I wanted to just praise the Lord for what He has taken (a wretch like me) and turned into a growing beauty in my heart! So much has changed in my past year of life, for more details read my other blog on beautiful change.

But I guess I just praise God for the people He has graciously added to my life. I am blessed so much by my family and friends!

First I will start with my wonderful husband. Wow. Baby it’s been almost 9 years! Even though it’s only been less than a decade of my life, these past years have been amazing! I take joy in everyday drawing closer to our Jesus with you! Its such a blessing to have a husband that seriously gets hotter the closer he gets to Jesus haha. Seriously. Thank you for being so supportive of me and my dreams in life. From my first home biz with creative memories to now mark and the craziness of Avon LOL you continue to bless me as my creative juices and many different ventures in life fail. Thank you for standing firm in your belief that I am created with a beautiful purpose. That God does seek to use me outside our family and you help me to maintain balance in that. Thank you for listening to me talk about the different fashions through centuries and describe clothing stlyes and random facts! You bless me by listening and nodding. but I know you truly are excited to see where God is taking me! Thank you for praying for me daily and lifting me up. For always pointing me back to Jesus and what He has already done for me. Thank you for always telling me I am beautiful, even when I don’t think I am. Thank you for loving our beautiful babies. I love watching you be daddy in their lives. We are blessed beyond words. I look forward to many more years shared with you and our precious children!!! As a new year dawns I am just so excited about the things God continues to do in our lives. He’s amazing. Never did I think my life would be this good! I just can’t express how awesome it is and just how grateful I am for His amazing and overwhelming Grace! I love you Jeffrey!!!

To my babies, who obviously aren’t on wordpress reading blogs, haha, but are still on my heart! I thank you for loving mommy unconditionally! The Lord uses those precious smiles just at the right moments, to encourage my spirits and remind me just how awesome He is! When I look at each of you, I see bits and pieces of mommy and daddy, your grandparents and even uncles and aunts. But ultimately I see beautiful little people, made in the image of our Almighty God!!! Mommy is so grateful for each of you, your different gifts and looks. I love that each of you show your love differently so I get it in so many ways!!! I am so blessed to watch you begin to grow in Jesus’ grace and take steps towards His love. Our prayer is that you just keep drawing closer to Jesus as you grow up. That you would experience just the awesome power and LOVE of our amazing Saviour! That you would see how much He loves you and begin to understand that He had already done it all for you!! Mei, your soft heart is beginning to be molded in even more love for your siblings and it excites me to watch you take care of them and love on them! You are beautiful and creative and I’m excited to see you enjoy documenting things by writing and art! You follow the footsteps of an amazing artist and inspiration to the most amazing book ever written (Bible) and His name is Jesus! Leia, your passion for life and always thinking outside of the box encourages me that your faith in God will always be that He is big and He is NOT in a box! I watch you as you preach to your dolls and toys and love when you randomly burst into songs of praise to Jesus! He also hears those and I know His heart takes joy in them! I praise Him for healing in your life, and you can drink milk now!!! Yay!! He is a mighty God and your health. Always remember that! Keiki, mama’s littlest girl! Thank you for reminding mommy the need to touch and be close. You come at the most needed times for hugs and love, which reminds me of Jesus and His desire to be close to us every moment. I look forward to watching you grow in Him even more! You girls each add a special spice to our lives and we are so blessed. Kai and Juju, our Boys you are little energizer bunnies! Sometimes more like little puppies who just love to play and be held mommy loves to sit back and just watch you two wrestle and have fun! I pray your passion for life and fun continues over to your spiritual walks as you grow up! It’s so fun being close to Jesus and knowing He takes pleasure in us and wants to see us living life to Its fullest in His name!!! I love you my precious little
W’s. God has blessed me with an amazing family!

Ok, My daddy and mommy that have supported me and my every whim since I can ever remember! I was blessed. I am blessed. Thank you for continuing to faithfully lift me and my family up in prayer. For always seeking God’s will in our lives and understanding that He holds the key to our future thank you for setting that example of seeking
Truth and never being content to accept what people tell us about our Jesus but knowing Him on His terms and digging into His Word to find truth. II know mom sometimes we aren’t always on the right wavelength, but I praise Jesus that we continue to thrive in our relationship and there’s always reconciliation and we can always talk about anything, anytime. Thank you for loving my Jeffrey as your own son and my babies too! I thank God that my parents are firm in their foundation of Jesus Christ and pour His love into us. That overall their desire for my life is to live in the grace of Jesus. I love you both!!!! And I praise Him for you!!!

My baby brother CK and his wifey A oh and can’t forget my new nephew who I absolutely looooove! Growing up with you has been crazy! A wonderful crazy and even though it was just us, it was awesome! We had our fights and moments of horror haha I’m sure you’ll never look at a fork the same But I love you Christopher and am so blessed and proud to call you my brother! You have grown up so much in just the past year alone! You are also now husband and daddy! I see your heart drawing closer to Jesus and its
Awesome! My heart smiles to see you love your newest calling to your family! It’s so awesome and I love that our kids will be buddies Amanda. Wowser haha. I’m so grateful for a sister that loves me thank you for truly being that sister even before you guys were married. I praise Jesus for knitting our hearts together and that our relationship stands firm on Who Jesus is and continues to grow strong! Thank you for loving my brother and being a helpmate to him in his life. He is blessed! There’s so much I can write, and over the past year I’ve shared my heart with you already. So, thank you. I love you!!!

To my extended family, mom and dad’s sides, I am in gratitude to your love for me and my crew! My grandparents -Lolo and Lola, Grandmom and my late Grandad. I have such amazing heritage and that is by Gods doing. You can’t pick your family but I have been blessed. I’ve been encouraged all through life by my grandparents
And am always shown love and support. They trust God in knowing He provides for me and my family and also their own lives. They’ve set the example in marriage for us, loving each other and standing strong in the midst of storms. My auntie JaZ and uncle tim your continued support and love
Has never ceased and I am so blessed by you. It’s exciting to raise our kids
Together and be so close! Ninong and auntie angela you also have been blessings in my life ever since I can remember! I praise God that he has brought you two together and you have grown in deeper love with each other!! Uncle jeff you also encourage me and j thank you for that! Uncle jess I haven’t spent a ton of time with you in my older years, but with recent changes in life I have been able to do so. Thank you for the love and support you give! Auntie Neneng, even though you are no longer with us you encouraged me to see the bigger picture, and not boys haha. With your passing away my life has not been the same. I can’t question the reasoning for why God allowed it to happen but I know my spirit is stronger and my joy greater because of that trial. In my heaer He truly took the situation and brought peace and comfort. I miss you. But I look forward to seeing you and my Grandad again

My white family LOL. The walls. Wow. 9 years I’ve inherited a huge amount of family. I love it! Dad and Mom thank you also for your support in Jeff’s and my life. Thank you for loving us no matter what and always praying for us as well. We are blessed to have both sets of parents who seek the Lords will and truth in their lives. We are grateful for you and are excited to see all the things God is doing in hearts and lives. Thank you for loving me like a “real” daughter and loving your mixed gradbabies haha. I love you!

On to the siblings Alana & Luke- I love you both and am grateful for you. I know the past few months have been a little interesting sometimes but we love you! A lot has changed and we don’t see each other as often as we could, so let’s change that! We are so excited to be where we are and are so blessed! There’s so much we want to share, and if you could only see our hearts and know we are doing good!! We are blessed to know you both lift us up in prayer and you are excited with us as God moves us and grows us! We love you and your little family we need to get the kids together more often!

Jana Joy. I miss you. I am so excited and blessed to have watched you grow up in life but most importantly in spirit! Jesus has already done great things in your life but I look forward to many more!!! Continue to seek His face in all you do! I’m excited to watch you put your trust in Him and Him alone! We love you and are praying for and with you!!! Shake and bake baby can’t wait to see you in a fewmonths!!! Keep the updates in Aussie land coming!!

Bethie! I love you! I smile when I see
You coming to hug me honestly sometimes I’m not feeling it but that’s my own fault. But you hug me anyway and that’s a reason to love you more! You are almost 18 and I can’t believe it! Wow. I can’t believe I used to babysit you and now you babysit for me haha ok now I feel a little old LOL I am excited to watch you draw closer Jesus! That you are seeing His goodness and grace and seeking Him. I encourage you to daily praise Him for His love. He created a beautiful you and you should take joy in being created in His image! I love you!! Even a million times better, He loves you

JoyJoy. My little drama queen haha. You know it’s true. But I love you and I am excited to see the Lord working and speaking love in your life. Your heart for the souls of your friends and your true desire to show love to our siblings blesses me. I have amazing little sisters and God gave them to me at the right time cause I honestly
Could not have handled it when I was your age! He’s good like that I love you!!!!!

Bubbalicious! Ha! Bubba you’re pretty laid back and always just chilling. But! I love when you excited about little things with me, like double blended white mocha frappuccinos! I have already shared with you how exciting it is to watch you grow up and mature this past year! Seeing you step up at home and seek the things of Jesus is awesome! Thank you for being a sweet little brother and for the most part not making fun of me… Usually. I look
Forward to watchinG you play some sports in college! We shall have our jerseys and signs! Continue to trust Jesus and seek Him in all you do! Love you!!

Josh, J-rod and Jordan. Ohmygosh you boys! I can’t believe you are teetering (josh) towards HS! And Jared you have your first sport coming up!!! Jordan your tender spirit and willingness to help out is awesome! You guys are growing so fast! I encourage you to trust Jesus and His best for you. I love you guys!!

Phew! That’s just family haha. My
Dear friends. I gotta say there are
Too many I’ve been blessed by to mention so if you aren’t technically listed doesn’t mean you aren’t loved!!! Jesus loves you more and He knows you

Melissa. We’ve been through it! I love you. I miss you. I’m praying for you! You are awesome and loved by our amazing Jesus. I know sometimes it’s hard to believe but it’s so true and overwhelming!!! I’m excited to spend time with you next week at Thanksgiving!!! You are one of my BFF haha and you are also always on my heart and in my prayers. I love you so much sister!!! May God’s blessings and love be poured into your life more every day!!!

DeeAhna. Augh! It’s been like 23 years since we’ve known each other?!!!! Wow. Time flies and I miss you! I don’t miss
Our crazy glasses and hair haha but I miss you. Thanks for being such a faithful friend in my life. For lifting me and my family up in prayer and just loving them! I’m excited to watch the Lord work in your life as well! He’s so good and it’s always in His time! I love you so much and look forward to hearing more testaments to how great our God is!

Joel! Bambaniggles. Enough said. Haha jk. You know we love you! You are growing more and more like Jesus! It’s so awesome to see that and see you life transformed into one full of His grace! Continue to seek His face and trust His will. Thank you for having such a serving spirit and allowing the Lord to use you!! Praying for you always and love you!!! Believe!

Josh, Ange and beautiful family it’s only been a year that we’ve known you but seriously it’s been such an A-M-A-Z-I-N-G year! Thank you for being vessels that the Lord has used in our lives! We love you like family and wow are just blessed to grow with you guys in His grace! God brought us together and it’s kind of gnarly how He did it but we are so grateful for it! Thank you for always speaking such life into our lives and being friends that sharpen and love! Oh my goodness we love you guys so much and just praise the Lord for you! We lift you up as well and know the devil especially hates families with Great Purpose! We are excited to watch God move in Stockton, in your hearts and as well as ours!!! We love you!!!!

Joens and Simas crews you guys rock and we just love you! It’s exciting to see Jesus overflow into you and speak amazing things into your lives!!
Oh how awesome He is!!! Continue to allow Him to flood your spirits! You are
Sweet blessings in our lives!!

To old friends and new, each of you have in some way blessed me. I thank the Lord for each of you and the impression you’ve left in heart! I treasure crazy moments and times of joy, and even the tears we shed together have blessed me. I’ve never tried to define our friendship by circumstances but by each person and their desire to love and uplift through Jesus. Some of you I’m closer too and others we just have a few memories but good ones! Some we’ve had hurts and trials shake our friendships but regardless of where we are now, I am grateful for you all. I pray Gods blessings on each of you and your families. That you would take an everlasting joy in Jesus! And seek His will for your lives. Be open to receiving amazing things from a God that died for you.

So, on my birthday I say Thank you Jesus for my 27th year of life. I look forward to drawing even closer to You this year and being shown “great and mighty things” that I had no idea existed. I thank you for each person in my life and ask that you bless them and reveal your awesomeness in each of their lives!! I love you

May His Grace and peace be with you all. That said and done, let’s party! Today is my birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blessings and Love,
Millie

 

Wow. Enough Said.

With Everything – Hillsong

————————————-

A few weekends ago I was blessed to travel down to Reality Carpinteria (in Santa Barbara county) for a ministry conference. It was by a landslide the most amazing “conference.” I don’t even wanna call it a conference because it was not your typical conference. It was a gathering of saints, an intimate fellowship time with our “mother-ship” (haha) Reality Carp, our sister church plants – Reality LA and coming soon San Francisco, London and Ventura families. Most importantly we came together as one body and were poured into by our sweet pastor – JESUS. The Lord spoke, encouraged and blessed us through His vessels from the different churches. It was a much needed time of refilling. The focus was our Saviour and HIS ministry.

Jesus in His goodness did some revealing in mine and Jeff’s heart, and I can’t express in words my heart’s overwhelming joy and awe in my Lord. Seriously I’m still more amazed and the closer I draw to Him and He to me, I’m in more awe. His direction for our life and our family has never been so clear. Everything is starting to fall into place. I know it’s because we have been seeking Him and not the plan, as Josh would say! It’s so awesome to be in a place of total reliance. You know, people think you’re crazy sometimes when you step out in faith or live radically for Him, but when you know Jesus has your back, and He has given you the direction there’s nothing out there that can stop His work in you. That doesn’t mean the enemy isn’t going to TRY to sabotage but if you are fixed on Him and your heart seeks to persevere by His strength, Jesus won’t fail you. He’s more faithful than we can ever imagine! And our response should be faith-FULL in Him.

An amazing sense of belonging, aside from our unmerited salvation and adoption into the royal family of God, is knowing that you are exactly where God wants you to be, here on earth. That’s the overwhelming feeling I have in my heart. It’s more than your basic gratefulness or praise. You know just a “Thanks God!” – My every part of my being is just in awestruck joy. I can’t express just how excited I am to know the desires of the Lords heart for my life, and my family’s. Every detail has not been revealed, but He daily gives more insight, instruction and direction.

Jeremiah 33:3 states, “Call into me and I will show you great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.”

Amen! And when He does show us, how can we not praise Him?! I believe I am exactly where God wants me to be, for this season, in the context of ministry. I’m so blessed to be where I am. I’m so grateful to have the privilege of raising up my “quiver” and aiming all five of them at Jesus (thank you Pastor G!) Oh, what a blessing and my first ministry- to God be the glory!! Jeff and I pray that they will grow up to walk closely with their Jesus and live solely for Him. That they would realize that Jesus wants to carry them and pour into them. That they will understand the love of their Saviour for them. That in turn they will have a great love for people. We pray that as we live life, dependent on none but Jesus, they too will take joy in living because of God, their one and true provision!

In addition to my beautiful family, my heart cries for the people of my city, fellow saints who struggle, and other specific cities the Lord brings to mind. I have always been a “people person,” and love being able to share my heart and hear theirs. Have you ever felt such a burden for something or someone, that you can’t do anything but cry out? I mean, not in a pathetic sort of way, but really cry out to God. Step in the gap and battle in prayer for the souls of men & women you know, and some are strangers. Sometimes I’ll be just passing by a person and I get a little tug on my heart. It seems silly to just keep going, but isn’t that what we do? We ignore the tug and continue on our walks of life and never stop to respond to what the Lord would have us do. It’s in those times that the Lord has opened up my heart even more for the people of this city, and in other cities we’ve visited. He is a God of restoration. I don’t know the person, and I don’t know if they are saints or not. I can see the pain and hurt, the burdens they carry around day after day and yet until recently, my heart had been tugged countless times, but I always was quick to ignore them…

Jesus saved my soul. Without Him, I am nothing. He has called me to minister first and foremost to my family. But, I also have a calling outside my home. I live in the world, and the Lord seeks to use me outside of it, as well as within it. There has to be a balance, and I praise Him that only He can give that balance. I encourage you fellow saints to allow the Lord to balance you. It’s not just about raising kids, and that be the end of life. Yes, I have a calling as a Mommy. I LOVE it. But I also have a call to clothe, feed and give life (Jesus) to the lost. I am called to uplift my fellow saints. I must live as an example to my children I am raising. How will they know how to live in the world, if they are sheltered from it?

Now, some people don’t agree with college, let alone a mother of 5 going back to school for Fashion, which to most people is a lame excuse for education. I get funny looks from people a lot, mostly disapproving ones haha. But, let me just say this… My calling, my faith in knowing God’s will has nothing to do with man’s opinion, or their words. It does not depend on man at all. I stand in Jesus’ hands, steadfast and seek His wisdom for my life.

I Corinthians 2:5 “That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.”

How quick we are to judge other people and what the Lord has for them to do in life. You’d be surprised, YES, there are hurting people at Delta College. How will they know or get a glimpse of the love Christ has for them, if no one is sent there to bring light into the darkness? I have been sent and It’s been such a neat experience for me, and the Lord continues to open doors as I go to school, to glorify His name. I praise Him that it’s something I enjoy, and I am just following His plan for my life. I made the mistake of dropping last semester, I allowed the enemy in with condemnation, but my faithful God didn’t throw the towel in with me. He never does. He graciously opened the door for me once again to go back, and I am so glad that I did. I am where He wants me to be.

Once I realized just the awesomeness of Christ, I was utterly lost in a sea of expression, but it’s indescribable. It’s so excited to be lost in His ocean of Grace, and I sometimes wonder why some are content to stand on the shore of it. You have to dive in to experience it. Dipping your toes into the ocean isn’t the same as being overwhelmed by it! When you truly pray and ask the Lord to reveal His heart to you, be ready to be in awe. Seriously. I can’t even type right now what my heart is feeling.

Just like the song, With Everything, I literally just want to shout how amazing He is. I just want to praise His name. I see Jesus in so many things that I never did before. I mean how many people actually praise the Lord for an empty gas tank or that your tires are so bald you’ll probably bust them on the way to school. I’m a fool for Jesus. I see things now that I can praise Him for. Everything in my life passes through Him, and He allows it. He’s all knowing. He’s omnipotent. He’s all powerful. He spoke the earth into existence. He took my place on that rugged cross. He gave me His righteousness. He set me free. I can never repay that. Nothing I can ever or will ever do will compare. All I can do is praise. Even prayer now is different. It’s not an “act” of giving to get. It’s just me and my Jesus, talking, having intimate fellowship. It’s praise. With everything I have, I live to praise Him.

There is nothing too big or too small to praise Him for. I have all that I need in my Saviour. I may not have my own house. I praise Him. I have one car. I praise Him. My car door is broken. I praise Him. Internet doesn’t work. Praise the Lord! Even better, I have a beautiful family. I am blessed by a sweet church family. I am a daughter of the Most High King, who saw fit to save me from myself. AMEN! It’s in praise that my heart continues to get lifted and His assurance is so much more real. I don’t know, it’s not a cliche thing to say you are great when someone asks. I used to laugh when people would always say, “I’m great!” because you can usually tell when people are being fake. But honestly, when you have truly experience the Grace of God, WOW. Life is great. The hard times come, but God definitely outweighs them. The problem becomes nonexistent and then you just keep praising. It’s a beautiful dance. And if you know me… I love to get my dance on! I just totally feel the pleasure of the Lord when I’m in worship.  I never doubt that He is pleased with me, but I was born to worship. I was created for that purpose, and so when I’m in that place, me and God, it’s beautiful, amazing and I get a workout too Hey David was a man after God’s own heart, and I know he danced!

So basically, there is a point to this blog. Haha. I believe part of His ministry for each of us is to praise Him, in whatever we do. In our homes, at school, work, wherever. Whatever city He has called you to, be bold and confident in His promises. Let praise be continually on your lips. Seek to praise Him, and be open to allowing His ocean of Grace to envelope you. I have to say, it’s the best overwhelming feeling in the world. To be in a place where you know you are supposed to be is a blessing. Allow the Lord to show you. Be ready to surrender your own desires and will, and accept His purpose for your being here. You’d be surprised at how much easier and joyful life is when you are in His will. Don’t step ahead of yourself, let Him unfold the details in His timing. Just trust Him. It’s ok to let go of the reigns and let Him guide you. He’s the Victor, and He has imparted His victory to you. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He wants what’s best for us. Josh shared that the greatest judgement God could give man, is to let us have our own way. Isn’t that so true? It’s not until we come to the end of ourselves, do we truly find the beauty in our Saviour’s Grace. Jesus Christ is our Grace. Seek His face. Let Him overwhelm you in His love. And in response to that, you won’t be able to do anything but praise Him, with everything.

Another video, same song, but an awesome time of worship and praise. Yes, He’s that good…AND more

 

Beautiful Change

First, listen to the song. Pray that the Spirit, will  bring perspective to our purpose here. And prepare your heart. It’s awesome!

“Til I See You” – Hillsong United

The greatest love that anyone could ever know

That overcame the cross and grave to find my soul

And till I see you face to face

And grace amazing takes me home

I’ll trust in you

 

With all I am I’ll live to see Your Kingdom come

And in my heart I pray you’d let your will be done

And till I see you face to face

And grace amazing takes me home

I’ll trust in you

 

I will live to love you

I will live to bring you praise

I will live a child in awe of you

 

You are the voice that called the universe to be

You are the whisper my heart that speaks to me

And till I see you face to face

And grace amazing takes me home

I’ll trust in you

 

You alone are God of all

You alone are worthy Lord

And with all I am my soul will bless your name

 

Oh, change Some of us cringe at the thought! Am I right?! Because I definitely have not always been one to embrace change in my life. It could be my schedule, my lifestyle, my comfort level. I like things the way they are. However, because my ideas of life don’t always line up with what God wants, He presses and encourages me into change. I’ve learned to be more reliant upon Him and HIS strength, that the stress of life and the strictness of “completing” tasks have slowly become less and less. I am continually learning that sometimes all I plan to do won’t come to pass. Why? Because most of the time I was working in my own will, not submitting to my all-knowing Lord. When I am reminded, by the Spirit, of WHO I am living for, I am brought back to my first love. Hey. face it, we always forget in the most stressful part of the day, why we do, what we do, and who we are living for. It’s not easy, but when we re-focus ourselves on His Spirit it all falls back into place.

 

I thank God that He NEVER changes! I praise Him that He remains the same, faithful, gracious, loving Saviour. His infinite grace and power never become dull or weak. I am at awe just at how He waits and prods and encourages our hearts to change. He does it out of love for us. He gave us His Son that we might get the picture of just how much He loves us! 

 

I’ve been reading in Isaiah, and the Lord showed my heart some things. I pray that you will be blessed in knowing our God is a gracious and merciful judge, He sees His children [believers] as He sees Jesus. He convicts us of righteousness, that we might live to our fullness and perfection through Jesus Christ.

 

Isaiah 30:18-19 |  “And therefore will the Lord wait, that He may be gracious unto you, and therefore will He be exalted, that He may have mercy upon you: for the Lord is a God of judgement: blessed are all they that wait for Him. For the people shall dwell in Zion at Jerusalem: thou shalt weep no more: He will be very gracious unto thee at the voice of thy cry: when He shall hear it, He will answer thee.”

 

I truly believe that Jesus intercedes for us in prayer. That all we do, we do for our King, and that when we truly ask God to show us areas that need change, when they are revealed, our hearts are soft and teachable and we allow Him to do a mighty work in and through us. I feel the Spirit reminding me of my Saviour, when my actions or tongue begin to stray away from my heart’s joy – my Jesus. I am convicted of righteous change! And He is very gracious to me, He pours into my soul, “I love you Millie. I have the best for you. Be prepared for change. Love it and embrace it, it’s my beautiful highway for you. Let me go before you and prepare you to walk in My ways.” Seriously, I fall in love with Him more and more, when my heart is open, ready and always willing. His love, increases my love for Him and everyone else.

 

So, we come back to this beautiful thing of change. My life has been a whirlwind, as I’m sure so have yours. I can no way say that my life has been easy or perfect! Sometimes things that I just don’t understand the reason for, happen. Sometimes I’m too overwhelmed to even get on my knees to cry out. Then there are the times of joy (and it’s so exciting because these times have become more and more!) where all I can do is cry out because God is absolutely amazing and awesome! 

 

I’d like to share just how much change has happened in my life just within the past year. A year seems to go by quickly, and when you look up, you realize just how much has passed. My time, is usually never on time with God. He knows the best for everyone, He is faithful to do His work, in His time. We have no concept of that really, because we love to put God in our own little time box. However, He works, if we allow Him to. He does amazing things in our hearts and souls that we could not even imagine! 

 

Jeremiah 33:3 |  “Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.”

 

AWESOME! This past year He has shown us so many amazing things, and imprinted beautiful truths of Grace and love within our hearts. God has unveiled our eyes and brought forth beauty to things and places that we saw as unchangeable or despicable. He has given us a LOVE for the city of Stockton, and there is no where else we want to run to because this is where He wants us. This is where we now want to be. This is where He will use us for His desires. It’s so crazy, and only God could change a heart that is on the run. That’s exactly where we were at, running. But He is faithful to wait graciously and reveal to us in ways that will encourage us to change. You just have to be willing. We had to come to the end of ourselves, before we could truly stand in His promises of restoration and blessing. It has to be ALL the Lord. Not, part me and my abilities and part God. With Jesus it’s ALL or nothing. 

 

This change of heart for us, also was the Spirit leading us to a new place of worship. I say this with the intent that we are ALL one body.  Church isn’t a club. The doors should be open to everyone from all walks of life. People should be able to come as they are, and encouraged to let the Spirit unfold within them, to teach them to discern the voice of the Lord within them. Let the Lord bring about change, not make people change before they come to Him. Teach them to test all teaching and preaching with His Word. If that teaching doesn’t align with the Word, we approach it with prayer and seek God’s desire for the situation. That we would seek truth and never become complacent in accepting everything that is told to us.

 

As true believers, children and heirs of Christ’s kingdom, we are one. We have many different places to worship, but we come together in worshiping the ONE who gave us life. Please know that we respect and love the people within our old place of worship, because God loves them so much! We just didn’t see things the same way, the Lord was bringing us change in our life and our vision was not the same in reaching the city, therefore God brought us to a place that He could use us for His glory. I believe that if we cannot truly be used of the gifts and things the Lord blesses us with, which remember are for His glory, not the “church’s” and not ours, we need to be open in allowing Him to move us. If He says “Go,” we go! We are, exactly where we are, because the Lord knows our hearts desire and the vision He has given us, didn’t align with where we used to be. He has shown us great and mighty things. Our minds cannot wrap around His wisdom, but we know that He wants the restoration of Stockton, and we are on our knees fighting and battling for this city! I do not seek to hurt or cause dissension within these blogs. The devil tries every little thing and every big thing he can throw when the Lord is glorified through something. But I praise the Lord that satan is a defeated foe, and if we just live victoriously, we will be able to stand when he tries to bring us down. Please remember that and know that my heart seeks the Lords will for my life.  But by all means, if for some reason you feel that what I share is not truth or contradicts the Word, let’s pull out our Swords, pray and have some coffee. God is not a god of confusion. He will bring clarity! If my eyes and heart are in the wrong place, He has always been faithful to reveal that to me through His Spirit, the Word, and my beloved sisters and brothers. [And even if you do agree with it, we can still do coffee haha. I love that quality fellowship!] 

 

Ok. I continue in change. It’s a beautiful thing, not always the easiest thing, but what comes out of it is always amazing. Sometimes it’s a change that begins as a tragedy, but God promises to restore and turn what the devil meant for destruction, into something beautiful.

 

Isaiah 14:3 | “And it shall come to pass in the day that the Lord shall give thee rest from thy sorrow, and from thy fear, and from the hard bondage wherein thou was made to serve.”

 

It will be a year, on Aug. 19th, that my world was shaken with fear and terror. It was a Sunday morning, and we were pulled out of church by mom because of a frantic and confusing phone call from my Lola [grandma] about a “decision” or something with my Auntie Neneng. My aunt had diabetes, and the worst I assumed was an accident or she was in the hospital with a flare up of some sorts. But we also sensed urgency and rushed to my grandparents house, only to be met in tears and confusion. “She’s dead!” That’s all my Lola kept saying, and we didn’t know what was going on. Immediately our hearts heard news that you can only ever dread of hearing. She was murdered, in her home that morning, back in Ohio. Her boyfriend’s father is the main suspect, she took him in to help care for him about 6 or more months before the incident. He is currently awaiting trial, but is in a mental institute at the moment. Please pray for his soul, that the Lord would bring someone into his life, to share the gospel. That he would see the lie he is living, and that the devil would no longer have a hold on him. That he would admit to his crime and be prepared for the natural and legal consequence of it. That he would accept God’s gift of salvation, and even though he will consequently suffer the legal ramification of murder, he can live his life inside those walls and be free from condemnation. 

 

Because of this tragedy, and my mind at that time not being focused on my God who is greater, the months after were filled with nightmares and fear. The next day I went to Ohio for a week with my mom, Auntie Jaz and my Lola to help prepare her home and settle affairs. We stayed at her house, where she was murdered. I cannot describe to you the fear I had the first couple days. I used to be the scariest person. I couldn’t watch scary commercials, let alone sleep and walk around in a home that my loved one was murdered in, a blood filled kitchen floor, from multiple {22} stab wounds. It’s freaky, I won’t lie, but it was because I had this mental picture of her, there on that floor and I couldn’t shake the fear because it was on my “top 10 list of real things I never wanted to happen.”  I had given in to allowing the devil scare me into a fear that the ultimate and mighty power of my Saviour was not “able” to handle this situation. I was focusing on the circumstance, not the my Creator, who is by all means MORE than a conqueror! I let my emotions control my walk. I became so unstable in my faith and not quite sure where to go from there. For a few months of fear I ‘forgot that’  JESUS IS Lord of all. That if anything, I needed to press in closer to Him, to be filled with peace and comfort and only He will bring restoration. 

 

Isaiah 1:26 |  “And I will restore…thou shalt be called the city of righteousness.”

 

Jesus reminded me of His forgiveness and the fact that He paid the price for sin, so that I wouldn’t have to. His desire is to seek and save all the lost. However He has given us free will to accept Him or not. He wants the man that did this, to know that He is God. That He can be forgiven and be saved from eternal damnation, if He accepts and believes this. My bitter heart was broken and I can truly say that my heart prays for him. I can’t get my Auntie back. She was saved and I rejoice in the day that I will see her again. But for now, she’s no longer here. God has given me rest in my sorrow. He has freed me from the bondage of bitterness towards this man. He has removed my fear. I truly am blessed that He graciously waited for my return to His heart. That He is merciful and He knows and understands my every sorrow, and has freed me from it. The memory of the situation obviously doesn’t make me smile really, because the brutality of it is just heart wrenching. But, I have joy in knowing she too is free from pain and even more so a joy knowing that my Saviour, although as heart breaking as it is, gave His life, spilled His blood so that I can know this freedom today.  The ultimate sacrifice is the cross. No matter what we endure, it will never compare to what Jesus suffered in our place. As brutal and wrong as murder is, it’s a sin that is not placed on any level, but just what it is – sin. Just like hypocrisy, greed, lust, and the list goes on, there aren’t categories, it’s just sin. To us, we like to put levels on sin. We have to remember murder didn’t cause Lucifer to fall in Heaven, it was pride. So repentance is needed in our lives if we think that our “little” sins,  are not as “bad” as the murderers, prostitutes or peta-files, we need to do some praying and rethinking. The cross, the ultimate act of love, covers ALL sins. It sets all people free. Hallelujah!! 

 

It’s a new day! Praise the Lord! I don’t know what will befall me this coming year. But I know in my heart that no matter what, the protection of my Jesus is upon me. I walk in confidence knowing that He has a purpose for my life here. After that tragedy, I was reminded of just how short life really is. I am here for but a short time. My life is not to be lived in vain, for myself, but for HIS glory. Shortly after that, we were led to our new church, that is equipping and preparing us for the ministry and outreach that the Lord has given us. We no longer see people as “people” but every possible person as someone Jesus seeks to save. I cannot walk by someone hurting and disregard the stirring in my soul because I am uncomfortable.  I don’t know what they are dealing with, but I ultimately have the answer to all their problems, it’s my Saviour, and He wants to be their Saviour too!

 

Ephesians 6:19-20 |  “[I pray] that utterance may be given, unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am [joyfully!] an ambassador in bonds that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.”

 

 

I guess the change for me is stepping outside my comfort zone and/or fear and truly loving people and seeking to share God’s precious gift of salvation. My world has been shaken, but my God is MIGHTY. He has poured into me and I know He is faithful to continue to do so. I pray that He continually overflows into all areas of my life, and none of it would go untouched for His glory. My desire is to share and show in love, truth, word and deed, that my Saviour is my Ultimate. He has given me a new heart. He’s so amazing. 

 

Ezekiel 36:25-27 | “Then will I sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be clean: from all your filthiness, and from all your idols, will I cleanse you. A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgements and do them.”

 

We have a very personal and intimate God. My prayer is that you know this and press in to Him today. Allow Him to move within your being, and navigate you towards His change for you life. I don’t know what it is you are struggling with. But I pray that you release hold of the reigns, stop being pilot letting God just be a co-pilot, and give it ALL to Him. We have made mistakes, yes it’s unfortunate, but we have this option right now, to repent from them and be willing to change, out of a grateful heart and cheerful spirit. When you really think of it, how can we not?! Just like He said in Ezekiel, He will cleanse us. He will give us His desires, we just have to be willing to receive them. HE is what will keep us walking in His ways, not anything we can do or even attempt to do. It’s all by His might and His power, for His glory.

 

I am blessed to see such an amazing change in my heart. I love where He has me and I have full assurance that I am where He wants me to be. I’m excited to share His vision with fellow believers and watch how God moves and works in this city. 

 

Isaiah 9:2, 4 | “The people that walked in darkness have seen a great light: they that dwell in the land of the shadow [it’s just a shadow!!] of death, upon them hath the light shined. For thou has broken the yoke of his burden, and the staff of his shoulder, the rod of his oppressor…”

 

God seeks to set the people of Stockton free. We are in the armpit of the Central Valley haha. But I wouldn’t change where He has me, because He has given me vision. When I didn’t have the vision, I wanted to run. He removed my stony heart and blessed me with my heart of flesh. He continues to work in me and I pray He will overflow through me. Wherever you are at, whatever city, know that God seeks to save it. When you are called, you are a missionary to that place. Be wise in always seeing the bigger picture – work, school, shopping, eating, you are an ambassador for Jesus. I pray that people in this city will see a light shining from within my heart. That it’s not because of an outward appearance but an overflowing of such an awesome grace and truth from within my heart! My heart for the hurting youth of this city grows daily. That they would find fellowship with believers who love them and do not down play them. That they would come to know Jesus, not religion. That they would not be influenced or hurt by the hypocrisy they see all around them. That I would be a light, by Jesus Christ’s power to love on them and build everlasting relationships and to impact them to seek and receive all the amazing changes that God has for them to further His kingdom. But most importantly, that they would know, understand and truly believe that God loves them unconditionally. And that His grace is truly sufficient for them.

 

My prayers are with you all. That you would also prepare your hearts for the change God has for you. It might not always start out beautiful, but His desire for us always comes to glorify. Through Him, our tainted beauty is glorified.

 

Blessings and Love you!

Millie 

 

Virtual Reality

Have you ever had insight from the Lord on something, but could not really understand the context of it, or how to use it in a situation? I have to say that He is always faithful to reveal it to you. He is not a God of confusion, so if you are confused, ask for clarity. Usually the Lord gives us insight, an instruction, or a word, but the devil LOVES to put up road blocks or confusion in our minds. BUT it’s always AFTER the Lord moves. 

 

This past weekend Jeff and I stayed over at his parents with his six younger siblings, ranging from ages 7-16. We had eleven kids (that includes our 5!) and also were able to be there to help out Grammie as well. Thank God for His strength~ Anyway, it was an AWESOME weekend. The Lord totally renewed and abundantly overflowed our hearts with fresh love for his siblings! We bonded and are even closer now than before. There were obviously times that we started to lose focus, we would get short but God is always faithful to work and move and restore peace. We were so blessed spending time with them and we look forward to more moments shared!

 

One of the fun things we did was take them all out to see The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. We saw it twice! It was an amazing movie! The first time I saw it, throughout the movie, the Lord showed me visuals that coincided with things He had already given me some insight on. It was so awesome to actually SEE the things He had spoken to my heart before! I was so blessed and encouraged and I knew He would take the next step and begin to write through me. However, when we got home, I got distracted and gave in to my retarded flesh. I walked past the computer and went to bed. I wrestled with condemnation because I didn’t move when He told me to. It was all still fresh in my mind, but I put it away and went to sleep. I told myself, “Well, it might be too much to write. People always are deterred from reading my ‘novel blogs’ and I don’t think it will be good anyway.” You know what He told me?? “HA! It’s not about you or what you think. Who are you doing it for anyway?” He totally reminded me that this gift of writing is for HIS glory. I’m His instrument. My life is an open book to TESTIFY His grace. So, needless to say, He gave me another unmerited change to proclaim His truth and testify His awesomeness. We saw the movie again last night, and well, here I am. So I ask that you just prayerfully open your mind and heart to the amazing God we are unconditionally loved by. Let His heart speak to you.

 

There were so many times during the movie that the Lord said, “Now do you see? Can you understand now?” It’s like my mind was once again unveiled to see new things. I do want to clarify that these things are not new at all. His truth has ALWAYS been truth, it’s constant and doesn’t change over time. But in His timing He revealed them to me, and I now have a better understanding. God gave me a mind that understands visually and so the virtual reality of watching this movie HE USED to further my understanding. I don’t want to ruin the movie for you, so I will vaguely share points and go deeper into what my eyes were opened to.

 

1. BELIEVE. It really is not as complex as we Christians make it out to be. Jesus was not and is not complex. It’s quite simple really. If we are instantly redeemed from our sins – past, present and future, because we BELIEVED He died on the cross in our place, and rose to give us eternal life, how hard is it to believe Him for EVERY other area of our lives?! Our God is a “man of His Word” if you want to put it that way. His promise of provision, health and eternal life are not just thrown out there for the heck of it. They are steadfast TRUTH. All we have to do is believe. Throw any disbelief or confusion from the devil, OUT THE WINDOW! 

 

There is a moment when Lucy thinks she sees Aslan, as they are lost on their way, but the others don’t see him, and keep going their own way. She is persuaded that she never really saw him, but deep down she KNOWS his face and is the closest to him. Once she does finally see him, he asks her why she didn’t come to him. Lucy answers, “Because the others didn’t believe me.” Oh how I’ve been there! We of little faith! How many times have I done that. It’s sad to think that we sometimes second-guess our Saviour’s voice, or His face. We should just know! He’s not confusing at all! Once you’ve been in His presence, when you’ve seen His face YOU JUST KNOW. And when you’re faced with a choice – do I follow or listen to everyone else? Be wise. He won’t leave you if you don’t follow, but for your sake, heed His voice. It will keep you from yourself, and protect you from heartache or disappointment. Believe that He wants to speak in and through you. He loves to have you in His presence, and if we are spending those intimate times with Him, we should never doubt His calling.

 

2. We are made for God’s glory. Whatever we do should be for His glory. He created us with purpose. There are always times of failure and feelings of defeat, because physically we live in a fallen world. But that’s just it, that is the physical. Our spirits remain in the spiritual. We are the Victors through Jesus Christ because His power resonates through us! When we lose sight of WHO we are living for, we lose battles, we slowly lose life. BUT when we remind ourselves that Christ is in us, and we are HIS, then more and more of Him will be revealed and we truly see and have peace in knowing that GOD knows what He is doing! Despite our failings, He is PERFECT and because His Grace covers us, He sees us that same way. He works it out for His good, in His time. When we live life FOR Him, there is no one that will prevail over us. Sometimes we miss that. We think that when we are in a valley God is too late to rescue, when really He was already working on lifting us up to the mountaintop to meet with Him.

 

3. God’s plans are always perfect, always on time. Wow. How many times have we jumped the gun thinking we know a better way, because we think God is moving too slowly! But if we just sit at His feet, allow Him to envelope us in His presence and stay focused and fixed on Him, we will have peace. We need to set aside out pride because of our past failings, thinking we need to redeem ourselves. HEY! We’ve already been redeemed and if we couldn’t do it on our own the first time, what makes us think we can keep trying?!! How about we just let God. Because honestly, He’s already done it all. I’m pretty sure He can handle anything, at ANY time. 

 

4. If God is for us, who can be against us? This truth definitely give me courage in sharing His gospel and living for Him unashamed! Just think about it, once again ask yourself, WHO am I living for? Who has my back 24-7? I can stand firm with confidence that He will NEVER fail me! Even if I give in to doubt, He still seeks my heart. Even when my enemies outnumber me or my circumstances are impossible, it is in those times that He swoops in and rescues me! He always does, never fails, never changes. I mean there is not much I can say because it’s truly just simple. He created the universe, that we as humans can’t fathom, and He did it not with a magic wand, but SPOKEN WORD. How much greater is He than anything the devil concocts and throws my way?!(might I remind you that the devil is also is His creation)

 

5. He sees fit to use me at my weakest point. When I am honestly not sure that I can handle the responsibility or whatever the task is He lays on my heart, that is usually when He tells me to move, go, do! Why? Because when I am weak HE gets ALL the glory. When I capitalize ALL, I mean ALL and not just public glory, but He reveals even more to me, and humbles MY heart. I have nothing to offer, no strength to lend, because it’s all HIM. He doesn’t need me. I always feel weird when people compliment my writing. I guess because I truly don’t write for me OR you. I sit, He speaks and I write by His strength and wisdom. None of this is me. He walks me through editing and sometimes I don’t even fully understand what has been written until I’ve read it a fifth time. He continues to reveal to me even months after writing. I’ve said jokingly that maybe I write in tongues since I don’t speak in tongues. He has to interpret and break down the writings, even for me. So you see, it’s not coming from me. It’s not MY wisdom, it’s HIS. There is NO way that I could ever write anything worthwhile if He didn’t inspire it. Writing brings me to a very vulnerable place. It’s hard to explain, but I am truly sharing His heart and desire for my life with you. I know that with prayer He will reveal different things to you through these writings. I am forever grateful and blessed to be used by Him. I take joy in His strength, wisdom and He uses it for His glory.

 

In closing, I hope that you, too, will come to realization of His heart’s desire for your life. I don’t know what He’s leading you to do now, but I know He has a great plan and purpose for all His children. He is bringing revival and it honestly starts in OUR hearts. We are in the last days and He wants to pour out His Grace and mercy. He wants His children to know they are loved, priceless and irreplaceable. He desires to be close to us and wants us to take His refreshing presence in. He wants us to know it, and in turn, SHARE it! 

 

My prayer is that this has encouraged you to step out in faith and just praise Him for your redemption. Thank Him for never failing you and look to the things that He has before you, and all that He is continuing to reveal to you. The definition of repentance is simply to have a change of mind. It’s not a long drawn out time of confession and condemnation like some think. So just allow the Lord to bring you to repentance. Stop living for yourself and begin today to live for His glory in ALL you do. Work for Him, not your boss. Take care of your family, for Him, not for the accolades of being a good parent. From my experience, there is no better way. Of course it won’t always be perfect, but He is working in us to perfect us. He wants to give us life, not just eternally, but also a life way above average here on earth. 

 

Be blessed brothers and sisters. I praise Him for this virtual reality through Narnia and I pray that this movie, through Christ, brings revelation to others as well, and encourages hearts to keep believing that our God is absolutely AWESOME!

 

Love you all, 

By His Grace,

Millie

 

 

 

Reach forth and be unveiled!

 

“…but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forth unto those things which are before. I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you.” Philippians 3:13-15

 

Isn’t that just like Him? I love that in the latter part of verse 15, Paul reminds us that God shall reveal to us. It’s so encouraging that we are loved by a God that reveals things to us. We aren’t left to fend for ourselves. He encourages us to keep coming before Him, to keep reaching towards His will in our lives. He doesn’t want us to be defeated or in condemnation from our past. As saints, we have the victory over sin! We don’t need to dwell in those moments any longer. Get up, dust off, thank Him for His finished work and keep going! When we realize that He paid it all for us, and by all I mean ALL, it’s much easier to live free and continue to praise Him when we stumble. We should be continually in praise.

 

If we move on further,  Philippians 4:4 says, “Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice.” Did you get that?! It’s not just when we are on the mountaintop, but also in the valley, in the middle of a storm!! Remember, it’s the Devil that wants us in that state of condemnation and/or confusion! We are children of promise! We are the righteousness of God, through His Son, Jesus Christ!! Satan doesn’t want us to know that, and definitely doesn’t want us to live like that!

 

We sometimes are quick to doubt when God is calling, or let fear creep in when He tells us to move or do. We need to keep pressing in towards Him. It is during those times that we need to be more aware of His presence. Yes, He is always there, He is constant. Sometimes those things that are behind us somehow end up back in our minds, and we seem to be back in that place again. I don’t know about you, but it happens more often than I’d like, and I have to continue to press in even more to Jesus when that temptation to doubt, if I even heard God, arises. Don’t pull away, don’t be complacent to live in that state of mind. Hey, when God says it, just do it! It wasn’t until we truly took a step of faith towards Him, that our eyes were opened. When we got to a place where there was no possible way out, but through God, did we finally see HIM in all His glory. When we had nothing, He gave us EVERYTHING!

 

My own personal revealing from the Lord was recently on the topic of Grace. Yes, it’s been ours all along, and if you’ve read my previous blog, you’ll get an understanding of my heart. I have to say that it was all in God’s timing, when it pleased Him for my eyes to be unveiled. Before, Jeff and I were seeking Him specifically because we had so much confusion, and a lot of condemnation. We knew there had to be more to God than lists and what not to do’s. There had to be more than what WE must do to stay in fellowship with Him. We sincerely kept trying, yet kept failing.  So, needless to say, we PRAISE Him that He has revealed more and more of Himself to us, most importantly His Grace. Everyday since then, it’s just more refreshing! I mean, ALL areas of our lives have been impacted by it, and it just overflows into everything. We can’t shut up about it, well because it’s so exciting. It’s like we were introduced to a whole new way to see Jesus. That He is more than just our Salvation. It’s crazy, some think it’s because we didn’t “get it” before, because we didn’t want to get it. But honestly, it just wasn’t His time. 

 

We tried to live that “holy life”, you know, by all those standards and LISTS. We gave until we ended up living on credit cards a couple times because our paychecks went to church. Then we felt condemned because obviously credit was not the way to go either. We thought it was the sacrifice we needed to make as believers, we were to be poor and just accept the fact that was how God wanted us, always just broken. We eventually realized that in our lives it wasn’t Spirit led, we only thought it was what God wanted us to do, because we were told that was what He wanted. We gave out of fear of a curse if we didn’t. Or just feeling like we didn’t have enough faith or trust if we didn’t. We were taught that was how we were to be blessed, by sacrificing what He gave us. God obviously still blessed that money and it was used for His service. But it’s sad, we were so blind to the truth of His ultimate sacrifice. We seriously endured through most of our 8 years of married life, and felt like we were just getting by, and apparently we just weren’t being blessed or we never were going to be. There were so many lists, and just a lot of fear there. But honest to goodness, that is NOT how God wants us to live! As His adopted children, He wants us to rejoice! He wants us to KNOW we are loved, ALWAYS, no matter what. All His wrath and anger towards us was put on Jesus, over 2000 years ago on the cross! He wants to bless us and give us the gift of Grace. It’s unmerited, never earned, freely given, because of Jesus’ sacrifice. Jesus died in our place, there’s nothing else for us to do! We don’t realize that when God sees us, He sees Jesus, no longer does He see our sin.

 

As for giving, I am NOT saying we shouldn’t give. We take joy in giving! It was our motive at that time that was wrong, because we were so desperate for a blessing, not realizing we already had it! We now know there is nothing on this earth that we could do and no amount that we could give that would merit any blessing!  It’s all His Grace, it’s all because He loves us. I praise Him for allowing us to go through that, and in His goodness He opened our eyes to HIMSELF, to see His Grace. Today, as I see the confusion that goes on in the church today it is sad, and I now see church (as a whole) as a mission field. Isn’t that crazy?! Jeff and I were so ready to skip out of Stockton and go ANYWHERE ELSE. But it’s so like God to give us a heart for this city today. He never ceases to amaze us. He uses what the devil means for destruction and He turns it into something beautiful. He has given us HIS righteousness and Grace. He opened the doors for us to attend a new church. It’s honestly been amazing. I know there is no perfect church out there, there will always be something. BUT, I know, WE know this is where God has led us. And if we stepped out before He revealed His truth of Grace to us, we wouldn’t be where we are today. Our church we attend now didn’t exist during all that, but in His timing, it always works out!

 

Today, we do things because honestly, how can we not?? How can we not give to those in need? How can we not share His Grace wherever we go?! When we are shown just how ridiculously filthy our righteousness is, we come to the end of ourselves. We don’t give to get anymore. We give because we take joy in seeing lives changed. We already have it ALL. Jesus is all we need. We are probably in our poorest state financially, but seriously, we are BLESSED! On paper, it’s a miracle we even survive, but we have an awesome God. He is provision in our lives, we need nothing else. He blesses us because He loves us. It’s just mind blowing. And because we realize His desire to bless us, even when we stumble or mess up, honestly through Jesus we are able to keep going, pressing on in His ways. We are no longer feeling beat up and condemned because we are already made perfect through Jesus. It is already finished. The work is already done. Praise the Lord!!

 

In closing, I just encourage you to keep pressing towards that mark. Keep listening to God’s call in your life. Don’t be swayed. Sometimes following isn’t always easy, but when He says go, we must do it. In my life I’ve learned that when I’m truly pressing towards Him, we see the devil’s sneaky scheme of bringing opposition even more. BUT, I have victory, because Satan is a defeated foe. The devil uses even the people we are close to and love, to bring in doubt that we really even heard.

Just seek His face, He WILL reveal to you His will! That’s always what it comes down to, what did Jesus say?

Because of His AMAZING Grace,

I Love you!

Millie

 

 

There’s grace, and then there’s Grace…

I must say that it feels really good to be back. It’s definitely been LONG overdue! It seems that through daily life, I obviously get distracted with things, family, school, business, it gets hectic. Those of you who know me, also know my attention span is pretty non-existent! It takes a great deal for me to sometimes sit still and concentrate long enough to write and unless I really have an interest in something, my mind tends to wander. I thank God that He knows this about me, He created me, so He’s always there, waiting for me to snap back into reality. I sometimes get caught up in “life” and I am getting better though, the Lord daily shows me more and more how much He loves me. And that in turn just adds fire to that desire in my heart to draw even closer to His love. I praise Jesus that He meets me wherever I’m at! Physically, He sits beside my bed and wakes me, in the middle of the day He knows if my heart is aching or needing a lift, and He faithfully lifts me. Spiritually He pours out His love and Grace on me. He is faithful. I only get through life by His Grace. Whatever I am going through, or “think” I’m going through, I truly can attest that it I make it because of my Saviour’s love and grace! Listen to the following song, about salvation and God’s grace and mercy…

 

 

 

The past few months have really been life changing. Jeff and I have been blessed, truly blessed in our spirits and hearts. We have received God’s Grace and love. Now, you might be thinking, well, duh, it’s always been there! And yes, it has, but it’s a whole different kind of Grace and it is so plain to see in the Bible, but strangely not taught or shared enough, and some places highly controversial. Some say that you can have too much Grace. If that’s true, then the Bible has some contradictions, and with that thinking, is it really all true? Mind you, I am strictly bringing up a hypothetical question. I want you to think about it. I KNOW the Bible is all true. It is infallible. It is inspired by God. However, some think that if we Christians showed more grace, and really took that verse to context then our little bubble world of Christianity would be crazy and believers would be sinning left and right because they were “covered by grace.” Now, if someone is sick enough to justify their sin because of grace, then maybe they were never really saved at all. Maybe they never truly experienced remorse for how they were before they were “saved.” They apparently don’t understand this gift, and are not truly living as a son or daughter of a King. Let’s see what the Word says.

Romans 5:17-21 “For if by one man’s offense [Adam] death reigned by one; much more they which receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness shall reign in life by one, Jesus Christ. Therefore as by the offense of one judgement came upon all men to condemnation; even so by the righteousness of one [Jesus] the free gift came upon all men unto justification of life. For as by one man’s disobedience many were made sinners, so by the obedience of one shall many be made righteous. Moreover the law entered, that the offense might abound. But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound. That as sin hath reigned unto death, even so might grace reign through righteousness unto eternal life by Jesus Christ our Lord.”

 

This is the Grace we’ve accepted. The abundance of Grace. Our amazing Saviour, He is Grace. God didn’t want us to be separated for all eternity; once Adam sinned, we were separated. The ONLY way to have that fellowship and communion back is through Jesus Christ. Back in the Old Testament, they had no Saviour. They were still waiting. But us, we HAVE Jesus. We know He has already come, fulfilled countless prophecies and we now are awaiting His return. He died to set us free! Sadly some are still waiting, and haven’t truly accepted His gift of salvation. I really believe that as Christians we are walking a fine line when we are blind to God’s grace. In all of my 20 years of being “churched,” it wasn’t until a few months ago that I truly could say that I’ve really learned about God’s grace. It’s kind of sad it took that long, but I just praise Him that my eyes have been opened. You would think that being a “seasoned” Christian, this would be the foundational principle for Christian living! But it wasn’t. I was taught under the law. We were to do all these things, conform to all these standards and lists of how NOT to live and yet were never taught HOW to live and love in God’s Grace. That, my friends, is legalism. Legalism is blinding. Legalism is selfish, condemning and it’s all about “me” and what I  can do for God. It doesn’t allow God to do for me,  just BECAUSE HE LOVES ME. This sad mentality and way of life makes us feel that we have to do things, maybe not to necessarily earn His love, but to keep His fellowship. Jesus is THE way to restoring fellowship with God. There is no other way. 

 

Jeff and I were both saved, washed in His blood at young ages. We were blessed to be raised in Bible believing homes. We went to church, we sang the hymns, we did the ministry, when we backslid God forgave us, we tried to do all the things that we knew God wanted us to do. We weren’t perfect by any means, no one is. When we failed in faithfulness to God’s commands and laws, we attempted to make things right, and get back in fellowship with God. But, we did this in our earthly, fleshly being. We did this to stay in fellowship with God. We lived under the law. The problem was, WE were doing it. We never truly allowed God to totally take over and move in our lives. We were keeping Him from blessing us, because we tried to get there ourselves. Now, obviously the Lord continued to bless us even while we were blinded, but that’s because He LOVES US. Don’t you get it? He WANTS to bless us and He LOVES US. Once we accepted the sacrifice of His Son, and asked Him to live in our hearts, we became His children. We were adopted into the Heavenly Kingdom. We are heirs to the throne. I can’t be un-adopted. I can’t do anything to make God love me more, and I can’t do anything to make Him love me less. 

 

Hearing teachings on Grace has basically given us a new start on life. We have a new foundation in Christ within our lives, marriage and our parenting. It’s not a perfect life, it’s just Grace filled. We believe that God loves us and He desires to give us an abundance of Grace, every day. Obviously because we are not God, we still fall into temptation, have battles and yes, we stumble, but our response to sin has changed. No longer do we feel that condemnation, but in those times of failure, we are secure in knowing God loves us. He loves us enough to keep us going, waking us up and using us for His purpose. It’s all about Him. When our focus is on His love, we in turn want to spread His love, Grace and Truth. That’s our ultimate calling as Christians, Christ followers, to spread His Word, Grace and Truth. 

 

I cannot tell you how refreshing it is, and how much more my heart yearns to live for my Jesus because of His Grace and love. When you’ve been set free from the bondage of the law and legalism (doing all the things you’re told you MUST do, just so you can stay right with God), life is absolutely amazing. No longer is it high school drama and a mass competition of the Holy of Holies. Seriously, who in their right mind wants to live a life that is just setting you up for failure? In the Old Testament the Law was put in place because there was no Saviour, yet. They were waiting for the Promised One. I’m not saying that the Law is irrelevant in our day, but we are not to be bound by it. It is here to show us that we are sinners. Okay, well we now know we are sinners, so we accept Jesus’ gift of salvation. We will never live up to the law, or else we’d be blameless, but only Jesus is blameless.  Let’s go even further in the Word…

 

 

Romans 13:8-10 “Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law. For this, [the Law], Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. Love worketh no ill to his neighbor: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.” 

 

LOVE. The L word. Like Grace, this is a pretty touchy subject. Can you ever have too much love? Honestly, no. Think about it. Christ loves us unconditionally. If we are to love like He does, well doesn’t that mean, unconditional, never ending, ALWAYS going? He commands us to love our enemies AND our neighbors. This is pretty radical, I know. From personal experience, and I’m sure you’d agree, loving your enemy is NOT easy. But let me share this, when you realize that before salvation YOU were an enemy of God, yet He forgave you and LOVES you, it much easier to comprehend this simple principle of love. Unconditional love doesn’t have a list of things that must be met, before it’s unconditional. We don’t really think about it this way much, and most are not taught this either. When we know this truth, we are able to share it with others, saved or not, and they in turn are shown who Jesus really is. They aren’t caught up in the church’s standards, opinions and lists of “don’t do’s.” When we strive to love like Jesus, unbelievers are turned on to JESUS, not religion. That’s the way it should be. When you have the correct mindset of WHO Jesus is, seriously, everything else will come. The desire to live holy and righteous follows. 

 

Sometimes the church has it backwards. They try to make people change and become holy, then allow them to serve or fully accept them into the body. Which is kind of funny. I mean, church doesn’t change people, God does. They focus on the outer parts, and I’m sure you know the list, tattoos, piercings, how they dress, instead of getting to the heart of the matter and just loving people and embracing them, regardless of lifestyle. Loving someone is different than condoning a sin. Biblically speaking, a tattoo is not a sin, neither is a piercing or a halter top. In no right is it my place to condemn others. How about just teaching to accept God’s love?! Is it really that hard to swallow? God loves people with tattoos. God loves people with piercing. God loves the half dressed! Sadly people speak condemnation and give unrighteous judgement, which is nothing like Jesus. Listen to what Jesus told Nicodemus…

 

John 3:17 “For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.”

 

So instead of condemning a person for something, why not just love them? If it’s truly sin, it needs to be addressed, don’t get me wrong, but we should not be blind to the truth either. So why not just let God handle their hearts. It needs to be done in the right way, through prayer and by God’s Grace. Seriously, any other way is just condemnation, and doesn’t show love at all. Grace goes hand in hand with truth. Jesus, who is Grace, brought truth. He also is truth. And so when people say “too much grace, not enough truth,” well they aren’t correctly reading the Word. And they haven’t fully accepted God’s Grace in their lives. You can’t have Grace without truth and vice versa. The truth is God loves us. Jesus loves us. When we get that realization in our feeble little minds we will begin to live our lives with more joy, more patience, more love. He doesn’t have to love us, we don’t deserve His love. BUT He gives it anyway, just because He desires to be close to us. We think that we have to jump through all the right hoops, separate ourselves from everything and everyone that doesn’t “fit” our mold and our high spiritual standards of living. Yes, we are not to be unequally yoked, but that doesn’t mean we write off people, because we need to “be the change in the world that we want to see” (unknown). It’s fairly simple if you think about it. But we have to be open to change. I’m afraid a lot of us are scared to really let God get a hold of us. Because then, we won’t have control right?! It’s ok to let God, life is so much better this way.

 

Let’s talk about the spiritual battle with Grace. Maybe the reason it’s such a controversy is because it’s truth. Like I said before Grace and truth go hand in hand. I mean think about it, do you really think it’s an accident that there is dissension amongst the body when it comes to this subject? Who is the mastermind behind that? Duh. The devil loves to see God’s people at wit’s end with each other, and doesn’t want to see people living in Grace, because then we’re truly happy and are open to receiving God’s best. If we truly knew we had dominion over our sin, because of Grace, there would be less bondage in people’s life. People would be winning more battles in Jesus’ name over various areas in life. I bet the rate of pornographic addiction would plummet if a man knew that he could truly be set free from this addiction and only by God’s grace can he have victory. But, of course, within most churches, we are made to feel condemned and unrighteous because of our stumbling with sin. We think we need to do so much, do “our part” in breaking from from whatever addictions we have in life. Whatever sins befall us, we expect to get out of them, by helping God out. And I could seriously see God laughing at us, like, “are you seriously thinking you can do anything on your own? Do I really seem like I need a hand? Do you KNOW Who I am? I created you! I sure can help you change, IF you let me!” That’s just what I picture in my mind when I find myself trying to  “fix” myself and my problems. I imagine the Lord laughing, because when you think about it, I guess it’s quite humorous. Like the Creator of all things needs help. Our God who SPOKE the world into existence, needs me to help Him, well, help me I don’t think so! Then He wouldn’t be Omnipotent, All-Powerful, All-Knowing, you get the picture.

 

So, now we come to the reason for this particular blog of my heart… I just pray that you are open to fully receiving God’s grace, truth and love in your life. May you be so full that it seriously just overflows and pours out to all areas of your life, in all your relationships and encounters with those who need to see Jesus. Let people see Jesus in you. Let them see who He truly is, a King, Saviour who loves, regardless of status, outward appearance. Jesus wants fellowship with us. He wants us to know He loves us. Sing that song “Jesus Loves Me” and really think about it. It’s not just a song or truth for little children. Sometimes we get caught up in all the other “stuff” that the most simple truth, we are loved, is forgotten and taken for granted. 

 

If you are interested in listening to teaching like this, we were introduced by Pastor Joseph Prince. His ministry and home church is in Singapore, and the Lord has a great anointing on his life. He preaches the New Covenant of Grace. If you’re open to hearing more about God’s Grace, you can check out the sermons, order the cd’s or just look at the website. All I can say, is that once you’ve prayerfully opened your heart to change, you will be changed. Go to www.josephprince.org

 

AND… you can also get lots of love and grace from our fellow church body ~ Reality Stockton. If you’re looking for a place that will love you, encourage you and help grow and equip you for  bringing the GOSPEL to Stockton, check it out. Sundays, 9:30am, Empire Theatre! www.realitystockton.com

 

As always, may your life be filled with the love of Jesus! You know where to find me, I’m always here, ready to pray. Love you all!

 

Because of our Saviour’s Grace,

Millie

 

 

 

 

Do not be moved…

“And now, behold, I go bound in the spirit…not knowing the things that shall befall me…But none of these things move me, neither count I my life dear unto myself, so that I might finish my course with joy, and the ministry, which I have received of the Lord Jesus, to TESTIFY the gospel of the grace of God.” | Acts 20:22,24

This has to be the ultimate prayer of my life. That no matter what, in my heart I will continue on in JOY and live my life as a daily testament of Christ’s grace. There are so many things in life that are distractions and cause you to take your eyes off the Lord. There are times in life where, you seriously have the right to feel the way you do. There are days in my life where I’ve been so heavy with grief, or burdened for the heart of another. Where righteous anger pains my soul and I just have to step out myself, my life, my trials and bring my heart to a place of worship, where only God can comfort! 

Life is not fair. God never promised a life of perfection, but that it will be perfected through Jesus. Sometimes people think that once they get Jesus, it’s smooth sailing from there. He never promised that. He promised everlasting life, redemption and THROUGH Him, He will perfect us. He will give us all we need to live this life. He promised to prepare us for this battle of life. And in that promise is His joy. He’s already given it to us, we need to take it! We need to receive it. We need to remember just why He put us here on earth. I mean, we do have a job. And not a job like we all are used to, you know doing it to survive, to get by. I mean how sad is that? To just live our spiritual life, minimally, with no outward show of what Christ is doing or how He is perfecting us?! We see people everyday, just “getting by” and with no hope! WE have hope! We, as children of God have the GREATEST hope! Regardless of our trials or what befalls us, we have the promise and HOPE of Christ. 

As Christmas continues to come upon us, I sometimes get lost in thoughts of family. Family that will no longer be joining in celebrations. It’s been quite a ride this year, on all sides of the family tree. (Mine and Jeff’s) I believe in 2007 we’ve had precious lives join our Heavenly Father. Sunday is my Granddad’s birthday and he too has went to be with the Lord in June. Then my Auntie Neneng went to be with Jesus in August. Grandpa Wall was also one to get his new heavenly body! We know that they are way better off than we, doing things they could have only imagined while they were here on earth! Running, breathing, praising! I can just picture it! And you know what? After all the grief and sorrow, comes real joy. 

I’ve never experienced real grief until this year. I’ve “known” people that died, and not until the back-to-back home-goings of our family members, did I really feel the Lord showing me just how life has to go on. That in the end, it’s our ministry to being a light. People watch how we respond to tragedies in life. Everyone wants to see how someone can have that joy in Jesus, when their world is falling apart. I think in some sick way it makes us feel better when we see people break down and say, “well, they have that right. Look at what God allowed!” But is that the best? Is that the best God has for us?! Does He sit back and say, “It’s ok that she’s now in depression and doesn’t speak to me anymore. She’s got that right.” I don’t think so. His people should be stronger than that. But we aren’t. Sadly, we all continue to stumble. But with that comes His grace…

I can truly say that without the tragedies and loss this summer, I would not know just how awesome my God really is. Even in the midst of the “why’s” God continued to show Himself faithful and bring me His joy. Yes, there were moments of breakdowns and tears. And every once in a while, I’ll be brought back to that time, but really, all in all, Jesus continues to uphold me and graciously gives me joy. He has given me this grace and allows things in my life that I am to use as a testimony of how awesome He really is. His grace is something that you have to experience. It’s so unexplainable, definitely something we don’t deserve, but amazingly He blesses us with it! It’s a gift that only God can give without reserve. 

So how do we deal with loss? Just keep going. As hard as it may seem, and no matter how painful it is, keep moving. Don’t let the devil speak lies into making you feel like there is no where you can go, no one understands, and get into the whole “why God” mentality! I’ve been there and it’s NOT cool. After my Auntie Neneng was murdered I struggled so much in my mind and it was a serious spiritual battle. I think on the outside most people thought I was ok. I even struggled with really opening up with Jeff and I can’t imagine how much that would hurt to see someone you love just close up to all things. I think that sometimes we just think that everything will just pass if we don’t think about it, but really it won’t. The hurt will remain until we just pour our hearts to Jesus. Let him have our burdens and then and only then can we really have peace and accept the joy He can give. The joy that He wants to give us. That yes, He allows things that aren’t always what we see as “the best”, but what do we know?? We should know that He alone knows what is best and will only give us what we can handle. And so I thought about that, A LOT. And it took a few months before I really truly deep down just could feel the peace in that area of my heart. The memory of it all still hurts my heart, but I can say that God has healed my pain. It’s not the easiest thing to think about and talking about it, even now as I write, still brings me to tears, but I am happy and the God’s grace, joy and yes, even forgiveness have become something even more important to me. How do you forgive someone that hurts you that much!? It’s not easy…But God. 

 

“How great is our God” is the song I was privileged to sing with my sweet friends after my aunt’s funeral. Time is in HIS Hands. And that really just sticks. Who am I to question His plan? I am to just do as He asks. Let Him take care of the rest. Let nothing move me. I will stand my ground and continue with my ministry. I will continue to testify God’s amazing grace. He is that great. He is that awesome, that even when the world seems to be crashing around me, and I have no where to go, I don’t feel anyone understands, I find true solace in my precious Saviour’s arms. I felt He brought me to a breaking point this year, where my sole reliance is HIM. And that’s what I feel He desires from us all. That we seek Him in the big AND little things in life. 

I love my friends, my family and they all have special places in my heart. I am a people person and God has blessed me with people that I LOVE. But sometimes I would find myself going to the people before the Lord, seeking a quick fix in my emotions, instead of going to the throne. And it just isn’t as satisfying as when you’ve been to Jesus. It’s amazing to have people in your life that are ALWAYS there, but in the end, just the Lord is truly there. When you are down so low in depression, not eating, shutting out the world, you feel no one understands, Jesus does. He truly has been in solace during His earthly life, there on the cross, FOR US. When He felt forsaken by God, when all the world was against Him. How little am I to think that He doesn’t understand or care?! And that’s when the Lord will just reach down and wrap you in His arms. The best arms in the universe are His. 

Whatever befalls you, let Him give you His strength to go on. Don’t be moved. Take His joy and continue on living. It won’t be easy, but it’s the best feeling in the world, knowing the trials that got you to where you are at in life. Knowing that you don’t have it all together, and never will, but seeing your trials as pruning. Something that just brings you that much closer to our Lord. That all in all, JESUS IS.  He is all we need, all that we should seek. And when we get that simple fact embedded in our hearts, then, and only then, will true joy in the midst of sorrow be ours. Let your life be a testimony of God’s grace. We all struggle, don’t let your trials hinder you from proclaiming and glorifying Jesus. It’s a daily thing, and sometimes will become a battle within, but we already know who is the Victorious One. We should constantly challenge the condition of our soul and not live in the “right” we have to feel. Weeping remains for a night and joy comes in the morning. Let’s live our lives for HIS glory, and purpose to be all He wants us to be!!

I truly do thank you all for your encouraging words about my blogs. This is something that’s not always easy to share, but living my life transparently and sharing the things God is doing and teaching brings healing and encouragement to my soul. It brings me joy in knowing that all that I go through in life, could be a blessing to someone’s heart. I thank you for taking the time to read into my heart and I pray that you will not be moved! I don’t know what you are personally struggling with, but know that our God is greater than it all! I love you all!

 

Above all, is a song about Heaven. I’ve posted the song and lyrics below. How awesome to know that above it all, our Jesus IS! It is a blessing knowing my family is in a better place. How glorious it will be to one day join in praising our Saviour together!

 

Because of our Saviour,

Millie 

 

 

“Above All” • Hillsong London 

How blessed are those who dwell in Your house, Who’s lives become roads that You travel,They wind through the valley’s to the light of the sun. One day in this beautiful place, to worship Your house is our home, where our faces will shine in the light of the son.Our God reigns, Our God reigns, Our God reigns Above all !!!

 

I Celebrate the Day…

With Christmas drawing even nearer, I always tend to get a little giddy, and extra excited! Seriously, this is my favorite time of year, and I just love sitting by a warm fire, sipping my peppermint hot cocoa and reminiscing of all the Christmases in the past. You know, when you were little and just the excitement and nostalgia of it all. 

I am seriously blessed to say that as much fun as it was to get the presents, spend the family time and have a fun celebration, growing up, it was always about Jesus’ birthday. I was blessed to not have the confusion of what I was celebrating, or who I was celebrating! Yes, the gifts were usually awesome, but we always knew why we got them and what it symbolized. How amazing to think that God would first of all, even create each of us, but then He knew we’d be doomed from day one, so He sent us His Son to be born in such a humble way, allow Him to go through all that He did, die a humiliating and painful death. Christmas is just the beginning of the beautiful story of God’s love for us. Jesus was born to die for us, raise from the dead, leave us with a precious gift of salvation, and a desire to meet with us again, when He returns. 

Amongst the commotion of shopping, giving and getting, it seems that every year, the world gets farther and farther away from the REAL reason for celebrating CHRISTmas. I mean can it get any more obvious than that? Even as Christians, we sometimes have to stop and think don’t we? I mean, especially when you have so many to buy for, very easily we can slip into the drudge of the this Holy day. After a few Jingle Bells, we get overwhelmed and can’t wait for the day to come and be gone.  But really is that how we should be spending Christmas? We don’t have to let it become as crazy as it may seem. I think that if we just daily are putting on that armor of the Holy Spirit and just remember WHY He was born, it puts everything back into perspective. 

There is a song (I know, I know, but I love music!) that Relient K sings called “I Celebrate the Day.” And this song seriously gets you to thinking, and if you’re like me crying and praising.

 

 

It sums up a lot for me, when I seem to make closer steps to Jesus, and then somehow end up right back at where I began. It’s very sad actually, and I look at it as something I know the Lord is daily working on me. Life is never going to be perfect and I will not be perfect, here on earth. I think sometimes we fall, but never wanna get up and keep going. But that is not what Jesus desires for us! He did not come down for us to just give up! See that you’ve stumbled and get up! How sad must His heart hurt to see all He’s done for us and then when we have a little trial or slip up we throw in the towel… Don’t let this day of celebrating His birth, the beginning of the most amazing life ever lived, become just another day on the calendar. Don’t let the gifts, shopping, family gatherings, and/or  cooking hinder you from praise! The crowds ARE crazy right now, you do have a million things to do, and yes, you might not be too excited of what you could be possibly getting under the tree… haha.

Here’s the thing, I’ve been listening to some preaching this morning on the Spirit of Christmas, by Pastor Tim Chaddick, from Reality Los Angeles. I was blessed and encouraged with the entirety of the sermon, but here are a few points I’d like to share.

Basically, there are 3 ties from the Christmas story that we have (or should have) as Christians in our DAILY walks.

Expectation

Anticipation

Fulfillment 

Luke 2:25-35 | Just as Simeon was living a long life in expectation of seeing God’s Son, the redemption of all mankind, we should be living in expectation of God’s promises to be fulfilled. 

John 16:7 | The Lord speaks of a Comforter (Holy Spirit) that He will send to us. A promise is given, therefore there should be an expectation.

Romans 5:1-5 | Paul tells us that God-given hope DOES NOT disappoint!

  Matthew 1:18-25 | Just as Joseph, after being told his betrothed wife, Mary, was pregnant, he lived in anticipation of what was coming. He acted out in expectation, married her and went on the long journey back to Bethlehem. We should live in anticipation of Christ’s return. Live your life reflecting your destination! When we stumble and fall, when we sin, we should repent. As Christians we aren’t sinless, but we should sin LESS. Our continual attitude of repentance should set us apart from others, aside from the fact that we are saved, redeemed and Heaven bound! But we shouldn’t let the knowledge of being Heaven bound become a justification for our sin! Remember, it’s our hearts, it’s our attitudes the Lord desires to be pure! We can seem that way on the outside, oh but it’s much more than that!

Luke 1:37-38 | And lastly, there is fulfillment. Just as Mary was told the impossible, “you’re pregnant! and without knowing a man…”  We should also be ready for the fulfillment in our lives!

 Wow, just hearing  “you’re pregnant” is crazy enough when you know how you got that way! But just imagine the impossibility of hearing that! God DOES the impossible. Let Him do it for you today. He still desires to show His power in our modern lives. Miracles aren’t just for Biblical times. He is STILL moving and showing His might TODAY! When God promises, He fulfills. Don’t let people discourage you when you need God to do the impossible! He has promised to take care of us and will do so. Now His timing is not ours, and so even though it might me a longer timeframe, He’s ALWAYS on time. Just take each day as a step of pruning. That He is allowing you to grow even more before you get that sweet fulfillment! Keep diving in the Word. Keep praising Him! He hasn’t forgotten! And I encourage you to just let God work. Anything done in our own might and strength, because we think we NEED to, or it’s getting a little tougher than we thought, will only hinder what He is doing.  Ask Him for His peace, grace and patience. 

 

And so with all that said, I truly wish you all a Merry Christmas and I pray that this Holy day we take the time to stop and really celebrate, remember, and Praise the Lord for this awesome blessing of the birth of His precious Son.

 

Because of our Saviour,

Millie 

 

Eat and Be Filled!

Hi again! So I was feeling festive, with Christmas coming up, and decided to go with the color red! haha. Little things like that make me smile

I basically have had this AMAZING week of worship and praise, intimate moments with my Jesus and precious truths learned through some Bible time! Seriously, it’s refreshing and much needed to keep up in the Word after Sunday! I mean, yes, church is great, but if in all your life you just lived for preaching on Sunday, your spiritual tank will not be filled! Our spiritual relationship is not with our pastor and God, it’s us and God.  Our fellowship with Him should extend after worship on Sundays. Every day should be God’s day.  Am I right?! I’m sorry to sound like a crazy, but you have to understand that I’ve been there too.  I would go to church waiting to be fed, instead of getting full during the week and letting Sundays just make me OVERFLOW! We are not to lack but overflow! The Bible cautions us of the dangers of lacking in 2 Peter 1:5-10. Read it It talks about the different characteristics we are to have, and if we don’t, how blind we are!!!  

Now, I don’t know about you, but I want ALL the blessings God has for me. I want my life to overflow with JOY, GRACE, KINDNESS, PATIENCE, VIRTUE, and the list goes on… But I have to be willing to keep going, keep seeking His face, never being content with a little bit of Jesus here and there…but to fully immerse my being in His goodness and let Him pour out and overflow out my life. To humble myself enough so that I begin to realize those times when my hunger for the Word is growing and to be mature enough to “eat” and be filled.  In our busy lives we make excuses for why we didn’t have time to sit and read our Bible, or take a few minutes to spend with our Saviour.  How that must hurt His heart. I know I am guilty of that many days in my life. I’m not gonna sit and cry about it, because that’s done and over with. Forgiven and I move on.  God’s given me His mercy and I’m still here.  Praise Jesus! But, once you realize it, you need to change it! Don’t be afraid to stop and just sit at His feet. Let His peace pour into your spirit. Let Him be all the things you need. Let Him change your heart. 

I can seriously compare this feeling of spiritual lack to the moments we had after the Hillsong United concert a few weeks ago. Mind you, I am now talking about physical hunger! Well the concert was in San Jose, and we needed to be out of Stockton no later than 4, with rush hour traffic, etc.  Anyway, the concert wasn’t til 7:30pm and we hadn’t even eaten lunch. So you can imagine the hunger by 11pm! Well, it was such a wonderful experience, worshiping, coming before our precious Saviour, in one accord all in the same building with thousands of others. It was definitely a blessed time. We were being filled spiritually, but our stomachs were growling. We went to In-N-Out afterwards, and let me tell you, that cheeseburger with extra spread was like the best meal ever! HAHA.  I mean, we waited to eat because we knew we were going for that spiritual food that night, and our physical being could wait! It’s so easy to let each day slip away and go by without getting in the Word. Don’t make excuses. Don’t play that game. Tomorrow is not promised, and why in the world would even want to go out that door take a step into battle without being prepared! Don’t wait until your spiritual tank is empty before you decide to fill up again. It has to be on a moment by moment basis. Keep talking with the Lord throughout the day. You should be at a place where people think you’re crazy because you’re talking to yourself! When really, you’re just chatting with your Saviour! Keep going, because our mighty God can just keep expanding our capacity for His Word. The more we eat of the Word, the more we long for more, unlike when we stuff our face with food!  Because just when you think you can’t take another “bite,” God gives us more. And really,  He knows us better than we know ourselves…

So when you get to that point, you sense some negativity, or anger, that little hunger demon is starting to attack and you are in need of some spiritual food, it’s OK to stop what you’re doing and seek the Lord’s face and let Him fill you with his sweet Words & promises! Don’t wait, EAT! Be blessed this week! Seek His face in all you do! 

 

Because of Our Saviour,

Millie